Then, and now

When I was a freshman

I decided that for one day I would keep track of all the compliments I received that day.

I was wearing a long pink maxi dress, the first of my collection, with a white shade shirt, and silver necklace. As I walked to my English class, I recall those who smiled and called me beautiful. I quickly rushed to my table to pull out my little notebook with the brown cover and little blue flowers. Turning to a blank page, I quickly wrote down the few people who had said things to me word for word to cherish them forever.

I felt on top of the world that day. I just felt so happy and bright and it seemed that every new thing I wrote in that notebook added to that widening smile on my face.

The thought occurred to me, "Can't I feel this way ALL the time?"

The other day

I thought it might be fun to keep track of how many times I'd smiled that day. Not just me, sporadically breaking out into smile, but genuinely smiling because of someone's kind actions.

I woke up, energized and feeling excited to embark on my quest. As my phone turned on while I brushed my teeth, I received a couple text messages. A good morning from Miss Lauren, a quick "Love you, Night!" from my mom, and a student counsel text ending with, "Thanks! You're great!" As I read this with my tooth brush hanging lopsidedly in my mouth, a smile crept across my face.

"Oh!" I quickly thought. I ran in my room, but no notebook. "Hmmm... I'll do that... later."

Then I walked into school. From the front door there was just a huge smile on my red lips. Mckeey-Dee warmly greeted me, other late comers quickly greeted me before rushing off to class. In my first period there were whispered greetings, sweet compliments, and other words of love.

By 4th period I'd given up.

I simply couldn't keep track of all the times someone made me smile.

Why?

Because it happens so frequently. There are always hugs, there are always sweet words, there is always that love of Christ so abundantly present in your life, that simply, how could you be upset?

Dear Freshman Aubrey,

I know that you feel insecure. That when a boy called you beautiful, it makes your entire week. But you know something? That's not going to matter as much. All that will matter is the love you feel. The love that you feel from others from the way that they genuinely ask how you are. From the way that they hug you.

And you know something else? You don't even have to wear make-up for a guy to say you're beautiful. It's simply the way you present yourself. If you feel beautiful, then you are.

Love,

Seni-man Aubrey