Friday, July 27, 2012

Life of a Scooterist

I've come to the conclusion that people are more likely to talk to you if you are on a scooter.

I don't know if it's the fact that there is less metal separating two people. Or that my windows are permanently rolled down. For some reason, people just feel socially obligated to talk to me. Which is funny because if you're at a stop light and you and the person next to you both have your windows rolled down, do you talk to them? No, you sit staring straight ahead, almost as if you stared at the light long enough, it's going to change faster.

Enough, this isn't a guilt trip about the lack of social interaction at stop lights.

Rather, it's about the social interaction that I've had at stop lights.

Maybe my physique has changed recently, but as far as I'm aware, I'm still the same little scooterist Aubrey.

Example one:
I'm at a stoplight when a van of 5-6 teenage boys pull up. Acting like... teenage boys. 


"Hey. HEY!"

I assume my stone faced position of staring straight forward, hoping they don't notice me sneaking a glance at them with my reflective aviators.


I turn and smile.
Bleh, what a waste of time. They're obnoxious, and none of them are cute.

"That's a nice ride"
"Oh, thanks. Yours too. Is it your mom's?"

*cue a green light, and me speeding off dramatically*

Example two:
I'm walking into a building after having just parked. When I park my scooter, I generally park in places that wouldn't be legal for cars ie. places with yellow lines or right close by a sidewalk because I have on more than one occasion experienced that frustration of thinking you found a parking spot, only to see a scooter or motorcycle occupying it.

Anyway. I had just parked when I walk in. I'm looking for the door I have to go to, when a man comes running up at full speed, flustered, and out of breath. 

"Ex-cuse. (pants) excuse, excuse me. Is that your scooter outside?"

I immediately freeze. Is there something wrong with my parking job? Oh fetch. I'm going to get  a ticket. They're gonna tow me. Wait, can you even tow a scooter? How the heck would that happen?
"Oh, uh, yeah."
He lights up. "Oh great. I was just wondering, how many cc's is it?"
I exhale a sigh of relief. "Oh, she's 150."
"Oh! Awesome. How fast can you usually go?"
"Hmm....  I can get up to 65, maybe 70 on University."
"Oh wow! Great! Thanks so much!"

Example three:
I pull up at a stop light next to a motorcycle. Let me paint this picture for you. This guy is hard core. Leather chaps, big physique, beard, awesome bandanna, relaxing like he's at a spa at this stoplight.

Timidly, I pull up in the lane next to him.

"Hey there little lady!"
"Nice paint job you have on that."
I glance down, and notice that we both have a silver body. "Oh, thanks."
"You like driving that thing?"
A smile. "Oh! Oh yeah, I love it."
"And I'll bet it's great for gas."
"Yeah,  that's why it's so great. It only costs me $5 to fill it up. I'd drive it everywhere if I could."
"Good on you sister."

*light turns green*

Last, but not least, example four:
I'm at the light, quickly alerting a friend that I'm on my way.

Note: it should be said that I'm an advocate of not texting while driving. That being said... WHILE DRIVING. I was stopped, at the light, knew it would be a longer cycle, and was just quickly letting a friend know I was coming. Don't text and drive. You'll die.

The light turns green, and I accelerate while sticking my phone in my purse and turning.

I'm driving down the road, when a car in the lane next to me drives by and the driver does a slow motion head nod.

The next time you are with me, have me tell this story in person because me acting out said head nod is a bajillion times better.

Bewildered, I begin going through numerous reasons as to why the heck he's nodding at me. My outfit? The way I just turned around the corner? Trying to discourage me from texting at stoplights?

It seems my questions would be answered at the next stop light. 

I stop, naturally, when Stranger Man pulls up in the lane next to me. 

"You're a natural."
"On your scooter. You're a natural."
"Oh, thanks!"
A sincere compliment? Or an attempt to hit on me?
"Yeah, you should get a real bike."
Hmmm okay, trying to find mutual interests. Hitting on me?
"Oh... I don't think my dad would let me."
"Oh, c'mon."
"Yeah, he calls them murder cycles."
"They're actually a lot safer, because they have more pipes you can hear them better."
"Oh that's my number one pet peeve! I mean, I'm driving a scooter, not an invisibility cloak!"
*light turns green*
"Well, see ya! Bye!"

Conclusion: People definitely talk to me more on my scooter versus my car or my bike. 

Not that I'm complaining. :)

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