When I walked into church, my daddy greeted me with open arms. Gave me a big hug, and a kiss, like he hadn't seen me in years.
"Sister Snelson! It's great to see you on time!"
"Well, let me tell you, I got up at 9:20 when my daughter woke me up. I was up late last night because Aubrey was out until 1 for a party."
Everyone glances at me, the rebellious teen.
"So I wake up, and Brian walks in and says, "Honey, I'm leaving now. I hope you'll be able to make it."
Laughs from the audience
"I get in my bathroom, when Brian texts me and says, "Kay Nelson and Diane Magelby (audience members) are here. I've saved a seat for you." I texted back and said, "You're not helpful." It's not very easy being married to a comedian."
"Oh, but we love his jokes!"
"Yes, but you aren't the bud of them."
I come down in pursuit of some chocolate milk. Removing a tall glass from the cabinet, I fill it all the way to the top with milk. Then, I get in the fridge to fill it with gobs of chocolate syrup. When I squeeze the bottle, whoosh. Nothing but air.
My daddy looks up. "What's wrong Aubs?"
"I wanted chocolate milk, but there's none left."
He looks utterly aghast, like he was recently informed he's allergic to cheesecake. "No chocolate? At the Snelson's? Impossible."
He begins riffling through the fridge, determined to help my cause.
"No, really Daddy, it's fine. I'll just... have something else."
"No. My girl wants chocolate, my girl gets chocolate."
After 30 years of marriage, my mom's taught him well.