Sunday, April 29, 2012

"He loves you too"

There were a few quiet moments last night after I said my prayers last night.
I was exhausted and found myself sitting on the floor after I had finished, not quite ready to close my eyes and say good-bye to the day.

There, during that small moment, I heard a voice, barely a whisper.

"He loves you too"

It was so profoundly simple. I hadn't asked for anything that night, rather quite the opposite.

I get into this mode of thinking very often. When I think about how I am so blessed, I often wonder why. Why do I have such wonderful friends and family? Why do I have so many earthly possessions? I think to myself, when I talk to Him and wonder to myself.

Perhaps I could not have quite so many people love me? I mean, I'd still keep some, but not ALL of them, so that way those people in the world who don't feel loved, can?

I think about the kids in Africa, or India, or any other third world country for that matter. How so many are abused, starved, and dying. Why are these poor children so underprivileged, when I have so much?

Then my sweet father will always remind me, "Aubs, you should only worry about those things you can control."

I used to get very frustrated with this. For me, it used to translate as, "Aubrey, there is nothing you can do,  so you should just stop."

Ah, but how silly my young immature mind was. It took a couple years, but I finally realized what this meant.

Heavenly Father blesses me, with so many wonderful people and things. Well, what can I control? How I respond?
Am I selfish and rude to my friends? Or can I be nice, and supportive?

Through this new mindset, I've opened my heart so very much. I feel such an overwhelming power of love wherever I am: at home, at school, at work. Because I put it there. Because I can control it.

I feel like these are rambling thoughts but hey, it's your own fault for deciding to read this in the first place. :)

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