"He loves you too"

There were a few quiet moments last night after I said my prayers last night.
I was exhausted and found myself sitting on the floor after I had finished, not quite ready to close my eyes and say good-bye to the day.

There, during that small moment, I heard a voice, barely a whisper.

"He loves you too"

It was so profoundly simple. I hadn't asked for anything that night, rather quite the opposite.

I get into this mode of thinking very often. When I think about how I am so blessed, I often wonder why. Why do I have such wonderful friends and family? Why do I have so many earthly possessions? I think to myself, when I talk to Him and wonder to myself.

Perhaps I could not have quite so many people love me? I mean, I'd still keep some, but not ALL of them, so that way those people in the world who don't feel loved, can?

I think about the kids in Africa, or India, or any other third world country for that matter. How so many are abused, starved, and dying. Why are these poor children so underprivileged, when I have so much?

Then my sweet father will always remind me, "Aubs, you should only worry about those things you can control."

I used to get very frustrated with this. For me, it used to translate as, "Aubrey, there is nothing you can do,  so you should just stop."

Ah, but how silly my young immature mind was. It took a couple years, but I finally realized what this meant.

Heavenly Father blesses me, with so many wonderful people and things. Well, what can I control? How I respond?
Am I selfish and rude to my friends? Or can I be nice, and supportive?

Through this new mindset, I've opened my heart so very much. I feel such an overwhelming power of love wherever I am: at home, at school, at work. Because I put it there. Because I can control it.

I feel like these are rambling thoughts but hey, it's your own fault for deciding to read this in the first place. :)

Give me a number, instead of a name

The seed was planted on Sunday.
The seed of my thoughts that I am about to share with you.


During Young Women's, it appeared there. Immediately I took out my notebook and wrote this down:

"Names.

They are the number one identifier of a person.

Could you imagine what a world would be like without names?

"Hey..... you."

How many would react, thinking you meant them?

There is already such conformity in the world.

So without a name, how would we be identified?

How would we want to be identified?"

And that seed has been germinating all week.
Until today, at the temple.


Have you ever had a guest speaker in a class, or something like that, and they identified you by your clothes? I feel like this happens all the time.

"Yes.... uh, Red Shirt? Yes Red Shirt, can we get you to come up here?"

So in this hypothetical world my brain created, would we simply be identified by our appearance?

"Yes, Brown Hair with the color melt and Denim Shirt?"

Ha. Right.




I think that names easily go unnoticed. At least, that's how I was in my sheltered elementary school.
Like, those instances that I might mention a friend and based on their name, my parents would automatically make assumptions.
Like, Henry Lee. I still remember that day my dad asked if he was Asian.
"What? No!" 
I was appalled, whatever gave him THAT idea?
Because in my white dominate school, "Lee" was just another name that didn't appeal to a certain race. 




Appearance is too broad, so is it based on all the things you participate in?
"You know, she's the one that dances. And sings. And writes. And acts. And..."


Or, is by our personalities?
"Haven't you seen her? The really loud one in the hallway. She's always yelling."


Again, I pose this question:
How would you want to be identified?

"Surely you've noticed. That beautiful daughter of God? She is always smiling."

Like Nelson, but with an S

I love these guys!