Life of a deli girl

"Aubs, I know you work at Gandolfo's, but what do you DO?"

Let's use yesterday as an example

*phone rings*

"Gandolfo's in North Provo, how may I help you?"

"Yes, do you guys have pizza?"

What? "I'm sorry, no we don't."

"Okay, so do you have breadsticks?"

Ummm... we have bread "No, sorry."

"What about tacos?"

What the crap? This must be one of my friends. But the voice?

"No, we don't have taco's either."

"I know that Aubrey! haha I just wanted to say hi."

"J.J.! [fellow co-worker] I'm gonna kill you!"

"By the way Aubrey, I can see you."

I stick my tongue out at the camera.

"Aubreeeeey! Ikaika is verbally abusing me!"

"No I am not!"

"Are too! He totally called me a JERK."

"I did not! I said she was acting JERKY. There's a difference."

"Look who's talking..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Now I want both of you to go to the walk-in and think about what you've done. Alright?"

*customer walks in*

"Hi! How's it going?"

"I'm good how are you?"

"Great thanks!"

"So, how's your day been?"

"Oh, you know, just at work."

laughs "Right, so... what do I want?"

Silence as he stares at the menu

"I like your hat by the way."

"Why thank ya" with the slight southern twang

"Hmmm... Well, what do you like?"

Point to the menu as I name them off. "Well, Urban Cowboy, 42nd Street, Reuben...."

"What about a bagel?"

"Oh, well the Chaz bagel is one of my favorites..."

"So if I get two, you'll come out here and eat them with me?"

Politely laughs "Oh, uh... I have to.... mop."

Disappointment "Oh, alright. Just give me one of em then."

"Okay, and may I get your name?"

"Trevor. And yours?"

"Aubrey."

Tips cowboy hat "Well, it's reeeal nice ta meet cha Aubrey."

"Aubs, do you know that guy?"

"Never met him in my LIFE."

"The dullest and most uninteresting person you know, may one day be a creature which, if you saw them now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. There are no ordinary people."

- C.S. Lewis

Solo time

I love that there's not a total sense of time here.

Usually each day, after my mom wakes up, the first question asked is:

"What time did you wake up?"

Closely followed by:

"What time is work/school/dance/internship?"

Girl's camp is such a blessing in the way that we can take a break from life, and feel closer to God and the most beautiful things he created.

Nature.

And us.

Well there goes that nick name....

"Good morning Brothers and Sisters. We wish to announce that Bishop Brian K. Snelson is called as the Executive Secretary in the Provo, UT Edgemont Stake."

"Aubs, did you know?"

"Yup, about ten minutes ago."

My reaction?

Turning to Lauren and asking,

"What do I call him now?"

It is rather easy to get discouraged

You just have to think about all the terrible things in the world. Think you aren't good. Think that no one loves you.

But, because God loves you, he puts hundreds of Angels in your life. They're in your classes at school, to tell you how pretty you look, or laugh at your jokes. He puts them in the hallway to walk to your classes, to hug you, to ask you if you are alright. He has them text you. Words of love that you want to save to re-read over again.

He puts them at work. He give you nice friends to work with who will take out the trash so you don't have to.

He has random strangers compliment you by saying, "You are so cheerful with that beautiful smile of yours."

When that isn't enough, he has your yearbook get overwhelmingly full with words of encouragement, love, and beautiful things.

And finally, God gives you a patriarchal blessing. A small piece of paper saying, "You are wonderful. I know you can do this, and I know you will succeed. I love you, and want to help you every step of this journey. You mean more to me than you can possibly know. You will do hard things because you have the gospel of Jesus Christ to help you in your life."

And seriously, how could you still be discouraged after that??

Why not?

"Aubs, not everyone has the same mindset as you."

"What do you mean?"

"Not everyone automatically love each other. Everyone will make judgements whether you like it or not. That's how the world is. It isn't fun, but not everyone is accepting."

She said this after I said,

"I don't care. I don't care if people don't like my yellow pants. If I like them, then I should be able to wear them. If I want to dye my hair purple, then I'll love it, no matter what. I don't want to dress a certain way because someone thinks I have to. I don't want to wear make-up because someone said I should. I like how I am, and if people can't be accepting of that, then it's their problem."

I guess in a way my mom's right. There are people. Who make quick assumptions. It happens at work ALL THE TIME. They give me a look that says,

"You're just a teenager. You don't know what you're doing. You can't make a sandwich well. Plus you're probably a brat and only care about yourself."

What do I do?

Smile and ask

"What can I get for you?"

And then, I go in the back, and turn on "Here Comes The Sun."

And I can see it in their face.

"I was wrong? How could I ever have been wrong? She seems nice. She said that she'd make the sandwich as fast as she could so I can get to my son's baseball game. Why did I ever think that?"

And then they awkwardly look away. Because that's the only socially acceptable thing that they can think of.

"Here you go! And have a wonderful day!"

Why can't we love each other? I don't know. I see people everyday. I'm with them.

"Did you see what she's wearing?"

Stop it

I just don't understand what makes it so hard.

Forever

She did what any logical person might do.

She ran.

It was hard but soon there was that adrenaline inside her, that sweet push towards freedom.

She couldn't think.

She listened as her feet hit the pavement. One. Two. One. Two.

It was there. At the back of her mind. Gnawing at her. Waiting.

One. Two. One. Two.

A new sound. What was it?

Splash. Splash.

Rain started softly, but quickly became hard sheets. On her arms. Her legs. In her eyes. It didn't matter. She was running away. She was leaving.

But for how long?

The thought came to her. The thought she was trying to leave. The thought that kept on chasing her no matter how hard she tried.

No. Splash. Splash.

The rain. Started down her head. In her hair. Down her shoulders. Soaked through her shirt and pants. Into her squishy shoes.

Splash. Splash.

She felt it. Soaking into her skin. Soaking into her bones. Soaking into her soul.

Splash. Splash. One. Two. One. Two.

She looked down. That dusty road. It wasn't dusty. It looked new. The rain had washed it all away. She kept running. Closing her eyes. Hoping the rain could wash away everything that happened.

Splash. Splash. One. Splash. Two. Splash.

Until...

She stopped.

She laid down.

How long?

"Forever." The words came to her lips easier than she thought. Like they had been waiting along time to come out.

"No." That came next. Harder than the first. But inside she knew. If there was someone. Someone who could come. Tell her to come back. To stop this.

But they wouldn't come.

Why would they?

She closed her eyes. As the last words, softer than the last time, escaped her lips.

"Forever."